As a frequent business traveler, I underwent a humbling transformation nine years ago.
I traversed the great divide.
On-time flights were suddenly of utmost importance.
I prayed for an open seat next to me.
I became a mother.
Suddenly, I went from savvy businesswomen to the schlepping pack mule that had the car seat, stroller, pacifiers, bottles, wipes, toys, burping cloths — all shoved into a large dripping, jangling, pastel bag that had “BABY” emblazoned on it, as if I needed any further clarification. This particular badge of courage allowed me to board before the others, so I could first have my fellow travelers enjoy the Traveling Evans Road Show, only to run to the podium in my wake, so they weren’t next to me.
I was undaunted. I was determined. I was positive that travel was positive for me, my job, and would add to the character I was building. I could keep flying around the country in my career as a television producer — why not? All the other guys did it. I could beat the odds. Besides, they were all strangers on a plane and I wouldn’t see them again.
Sarah was 3 weeks old when she made her first trip to meet her grandparents. I was prepared for everything except the neckache a 40-pound bag of precautions had placed upon me and the limbo-juggle that I had to perform holding Sarah when I had to go to the bathroom. It’s still a guaranteed laugh after a drink with friends.
Sarah has been joined by Andie in our intrepid travels, and at ages 8 and 5, they are card-carrying frequent fliers. Earlier this winter, our family flew to San Francisco, and my husband and I were able to catch up on our lives while the girls alternated between homework, sticker books, the in-flight movie and snacks I had packed. On the return flight when my husband left his briefcase in the rental car and I flew back with the girls without him, we didn’t skip a beat. The only downside was the girls were disappointed the movie was “The Parent Trap,” which had already gotten a workout on land.
Which is not to say there have not been potholes in the air. We footed the bill for a gentleman whose glasses were damaged by an airborne bagel thrown by our cranky 8-month-old during a two-hour circle above O’Hare. We’ve worn every snack ever offered. We’ve learned that a small child doesn’t need an entire can of juice. And two small girls can spend a half-hour in an airplane bathroom as easily as they can at home.
Merely being in an airplane magnifies the best and worst behavior from every size of flier. We encountered the grumpy man who said that children shouldn’t be traveling and mine had better be quiet. I was heartened by the passenger who leaned across the aisle and said he would be happy to switch to sit with well-mannered fliers, especially little ones. We all enjoyed endless games of tic-tac-toe while Mr. Grumpy fumed all flight long.
Then there was the flight attendant who asked Sarah to stop throwing up during a bumpy flight because it was annoying her. I might add that Sarah was quietly undergoing her nausea and never said a word to anyone. This was surprising behavior from a flight attendant, usually the well-prepared traveling parent’s best friend.
Being prepared is a motto that works well for Scout troops and traveling families. Manners count in every part of the travel game; there is no departure from being polite.
Be assured, no one in the airport, plane, rental car facility or hotel will ever find your children as amusing as you. That includes anything they say (“Is that stewardess a man or a woman?”) or do (the endless games of peek-a-boo over the seat) or my favorite, “Can we rent a red car?”
You need to prepare for everything, while knowing your limits. For instance, there’s really no need for the 96-crayon box — the extra pound of colored wax will only weigh you down; a small Ziploc of crayons fit the bill. No markers for the under-3 set. Baby wipes can remove a multitude of sins. No little puzzles or games with pieces that are certain to be lost. Try the sticker books for the toddlers and the travel activity books for the older ones, with the judicious mixture of healthy snacks and Gameboys (muted sound, please).
In short, prepare for everything. The worst that can happen is you’ll be sharing Cheerios with a few rows of newfound friends or the kid-less seatmate who will happily find the hidden spoon instead of pouring over the quarterly reports.
As in every stage of parenthood, traveling gets easier as the kiddies get bigger. They pick up an education that isn’t found in a classroom. And there are moments that make it all worthwhile, like seeing the Liberty Bell or Golden Gate Bridge in person. Or when your little travelers feel like they’re on top of the world as they see the Rocky Mountains from up high.
Just prepare for the words that will stop you: “So, can we go on a trip again?”
PARENT SURVIVAL TIPS
– Go! Don’t stay home because you think that it’s too much of a hassle. Of course it’s a hassle. So is packing for a visit across town, but packing is packing. Why not make it count?
– If your child is sick, don’t travel. Don’t rationalize an ear infection with “He’ll be better when we get there.” He won’t. Sore throats, runny noses, ear infections and the like make for crabby kids and parents, not to mention those on whom they cough, sneeze and do other unmentionable things at close quarters.
– The bulkhead is not always the best place to be with children. You will be ill-prepared to do the Indy 500 pit stop diaper change in a seat unless your child has a head and torso that bends at a perfect 90-degree angle. It’s’ best to have your carry-on bags close at hand — and often flight attendants are split on whether your essential carry-ons will be allowed under the First-Class partition.
– Check with your airline regarding the use of child car seats on board. If you have a child under 2, you aren’t paying for your “lap baby,” which means airlines will frown on you lugging the car seat when you’re not paying for that extra seat. For the older toddler, newer car seats have wider bases that are difficult to wiggle in today’s airline seats.
– While calling, ask if there’s a child’s meal. Kids love them.
– Get credit. Many parents forget to enroll their kids in frequent flier programs once they become paying travelers. They’ll get enrollment bonuses, mileage and lots of unsolicited credit card offers.
