Dear Ann Landers: I am a 42-year-old woman and have been dating “Anthony” for two years. We have both been divorced twice and have children from our prior marriages. We have had counseling to help us become better partners, and our relationship is wonderful. Our children are good friends, and we all enjoy the time we spend together.
We have one problem, however. Anthony is a cat person, and I am a dog person. My dog doesn’t seem to bother Anthony, but I can’t say the same about his cats. They drive me crazy. When I visit Anthony’s apartment, there is a constant odor from the litter box, and there are balls of cat hair everywhere. The cats are permitted to climb on the kitchen counters and tabletops. Now he tells me one of the cats has a problem using the litter box and is making messes on the floor.
We have had several arguments about the cats, and I have decided to keep my mouth shut, but that is only a temporary solution. How can I consider marrying Anthony if he insists on keeping the cats? I love him, but I can’t live with him. Please help me, Ann. — Cat-Hater in Iowa
Dear Cat-Hater: If Anthony refuses to give his cats a decent home elsewhere, I don’t hold out much hope for your relationship. While cats can be wonderful companions, they are not for everyone. Are you willing to change the litter box often and train the cats to stay off the kitchen counters? If not, please tell Anthony it’s either you or the cats. His response will tell you everything you need to know.
Dear Ann Landers: I have an etiquette question that I hope you can answer. I am expecting my first child soon, and my sister is planning to throw a baby shower for me. My mother-in-law has arranged to have her friend, “Alice,” whom I have never met, give me a shower, also. I think this is too much and have asked my mother-in-law if, instead, Alice would co-host the shower with my sister.
My mother-in-law has informed me that it is highly inappropriate for any relative to give a baby shower and my sister should cancel hers. I believe she is wrong.
I am certain that family members should be hosting these special events. Moreover, I am uncomfortable having a woman I barely know arrange a shower for me.
I would appreciate your input, Ann. — Expecting in Florida
Dear Expecting: Sorry, dear, but your mother-in-law is correct. It is inappropriate for family members to host baby showers (or bridal showers, for that matter). Relatives should not be requesting money and gifts for one another.
It is perfectly OK for you to have two baby showers as long as the same people are not invited to both (except for your family members). Be gracious about Alice’s shower. Your mother-in-law is trying to do something nice for you. Let her.
Dear Ann Landers: For years, I was annoyed by some of my elderly aunts who used to approach me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, “You’re next!” It annoyed me to no end. I solved the problem when I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. — Last Laugh in Lafayette, La.
Dear Last Laugh: I’ll bet your aunts stopped teasing you. In fact, I suspect they have stopped talking to you altogether. Thanks for my laugh for the day.
Dear Readers: Please remember to set your clocks forward one hour before going to sleep tonight. And you might want to get to bed early. (I plan to.) You will be grateful for the extra rest when morning comes sooner than expected.
