So the Bears did it.
They finally got Rabih Abdulah involved in the offense.
And they also fired Dick Jauron.
Fine. Now the Bears are an automatic for the playoffs next season.
If Jauron was a bozo, it’s easier to accept. But he’s a nice guy, a pro’s pro and an able coach. He didn’t win, and it’s all about winning, no matter what the Arizona Cardinals try to tell you.
Jauron and his $2.4 million will be fine next year. And bet that offensive coordinator John Shoop lands on his feet, and yes, both feet will be well short of the first down.
What new name will arrive and make us feel warm and fuzzy until at least Week 4 of next season? History shows the Bears never take an ex-NFL head coach. Spending habits show that the Giants will spend more.
So go get whoever. Just don’t announce the signing prematurely.
WEIRD: The coach the Bears almost hired (Dave McGinnis) was fired by Arizona. The coach they fired before that (Dave Wannstedt) got a contract extension from Miami.
ON THAT NOTE: The Falcons, Giants and Bills fired their coaches, and the Raiders are about to do the same. The Chargers said their coach stays, but he should be fired. Jacksonville just hired a coach last year, so it won’t be hard to fire him. Browns and Steelers coaches? Fire one, fire two. Jets? Ditto. Coaches of the 49ers and Bucs and Saints shouldn’t be fired, just forced to resign. The Lions and Vikings should swap coaches, and then fire them.
REPRIEVE: The Texans are an expansion team still getting off the ground, so cut their coach some slack. And then fire him.
CLOCKED: At the end of Sunday’s first half, the Bears had a third down near the end zone with 12 seconds left and no timeouts. No shot at a touchdown before the clock ran out. The new coach should fix this.
WAIT ‘TIL NEXT YEAR: The Bears play at home against Detroit (win), Green Bay (loss), Minnesota (win), Philadelphia (loss), Washington (win), Houston (loss), Indianapolis (loss), San Francisco (loss). They go on the road at Detroit (loss), Green Bay (loss), Minnesota (loss), Dallas (loss), N.Y. Giants (win), Jacksonville (win), Tennessee (loss), Tampa Bay (loss).
That’s 5-11. Horrible. They should fire the coach, whoever he is going to be.
GOOD FOR THE SOLE: Rookie LeBron James’ signature sneaker is in stores. James’ Cleveland Cavaliers have nine wins. Rookie Carmelo Anthony’s shoe isn’t out yet. Anthony’s Denver Nuggets have 18 wins.
NO REST: The Ravens and Colts had good years, didn’t they? Sorry, but that just doesn’t cut it around here. Their coaches are fired.
HAPPY NEW YEAR: Anyone can review 2003 and everyone previews 2004. What’s ahead in 2005?
– Chicagoans celebrate a World Series party when a local poker player wins it all.
– Montreal’s Expos move to Oregon and are renamed the Portland Ex-Pats.
– Rangers shortstop Alex Rodriguez announces he has traded Rangers owner Tom Hicks to Boston.
– Someone not named Lance wins the Tour de France.
– Michael Jordan retires. From what? Don’t ask. Just bow.
ALMOST FORGOT: Fire the Cowboys coach, Eagles coach, Packers coach. Also, the guys from the Panthers, Seahawks and Rams. The playoffs guarantee nothing. You don’t like it, Chiefs and Broncos coaches? That’s it, you’re fired.
STRETCHING IT: Monday’s Alamo Bowl was your 10th college bowl game of the season. Just 18 more to go and–oh, boy–I think I just pulled something.
WITH SPRINKLES: There is a college hockey tournament out there called the Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee Pot. Another reason why hockey rules.
EMPTY GESTURE: And when the Patriots win the Super Bowl, take the coach aside and thank him for a job well done. Then fire him because he didn’t win it last year.
THE TRANSLATOR
They say it there, it comes out here . . .
“This was the easiest game I played all year.”
–Michael Leighton
Blackhawks goalie who made 20 saves in Chicago’s 3-0 defeat of the first-place Red Wings
The translation: “I don’t want to play the first-place Red Wings all the time.”
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ccmalcolm@tribune.com
