Alan Keyes has said he plans to stick around the Chicago area, but the problem is he doesn’t have a job. The Tempo Subcommittee on Vocational Opportunities has a few ideas:
– Take Steve Stone’s old gig as WGN-TV’s Cubs commentator. “That cut fastball is so wicked it could destroy the very soul and heart of our country.”
– Owner of all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant Shellfish Hedonism.
– Greeting card writer: “Congratulations?!? You have got to be kidding!”
– School cafeteria employee so he can see kids get needed moral fiber.
– Lyric Opera music director conducting “The Heterosexual Marriage of Figaro.”
– Professor of advertising at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management (you have to admit, the guy does know how to get noticed).
– Chicago Blackhawks announcer. He can talk and talk, and no one will have to listen.
