1. Eerily similar
How ironic that Keanu Reeves–by allegedly clipping a photographer with a car–is now in the same category as Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. I mean, you’d never associate an actor of his caliber with … um, never mind.
2. Choose your side
There are two types of people in this world: Those who admire the UPS “whiteboard guy’s” doodling and those who want to beat him with an eraser.
3. The horror
That little girl on “American Idol” Tuesday night pretty much speaks for the whole country. Mostly because she sobbed hysterically any time someone was singing.
4. Ruh-roh, Shaggy
Ladies and gentlemen, Napoleon Dynamite’s furry cousin–er, rather, ex-“Idol” contestant Elliott Yamin.
5. The weight is over
The final Harry Potter book will check in at a whopping 784 pages, the publisher announced. Schoolkids are already begging their parents for money and anabolic steroids.
6. Paid in full
According to one estimate, Americans paid $12.2 billion on cosmetic enhancements last year. To be fair, the bulk of that was spent on maintenance for Pamela Anderson.
7. Going soft
I have to say the trailer for “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” cuts back on the action a little bit. I counted only three cannon blasts per second.
8. New direction
Halle Berry swears off marriage in the new issue of InStyle magazine. Unfortunately, she does not swear off picking scripts like “Catwoman.”
9. At long last
The NBC “Nightly News” is switching to an HD broadcast on Monday. Now we’ll be able to see the stacks of paper on Brian Williams’ desk in the kind of crisp detail we’ve always demanded.
The 10th line is online
Tuesday’s setup: “I will always remember St. Patrick’s Day 2007 for …” “Partiers turning the same color as the river.”–Paul Lockwood
Your turn: redeyechicago.com/leo
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LEBERSOLE@TRIBUNE.COM
