If we were being completely honest, we’d admit that there’s something thrilling about the thought of an affair. A love affair. An affair of the heart. An affair to remember. It conjures up images of passion and romance. An escape from the humdrum and the boring, the everyday and the dreary.
Maybe what it should invoke are images of dirty diapers and sleepless nights, trips to the pediatric neurologist and lawyer’s bills. …
Jody worked in the same office with Dick. He was her supervisor: “He relentlessly pursued me until I became weak and gave in. Our affair lasted eight months. Justifiable? No, however, I have since taken major responsibility for our actions.”
Jody really didn’t have any choice but to take responsibility. She got pregnant.
“Dick knew about it from the moment I found out.” What was his reaction? “He suddenly decided that he had made a ‘mistake’ and left me to deal with the pregnancy alone.”
Jody tried to work out some sort of plan with Dick, but he refused to offer any help. He knew he would be financially responsible for the child, but there would be no moral or physical support from him. No we’re-in-this-together.
“He had minimal contact with me during my pregnancy, and even following the baby’s birth.”
It would have been difficult for Dick to spend any time with Jody or the baby — he hadn’t told his wife about any of it.
“In the meantime, Dick and his wife and two young boys went on living their somewhat extravagant lives.”
Dick didn’t even know when the baby was born. He found out when a mutual friend, who didn’t know he was the father, casually mentioned it. “He called to congratulate me and to tell me to ‘take care.’ “
Two months after the baby’s birth, Jody and Dick met to discuss his financial responsibility for the child. Jody was willing to continue keeping the baby’s paternity a secret, because Dick still hadn’t told his wife.
“He told me he would need to figure something out and would get back to me in a week. He was leaving for vacation. I never heard from him until three weeks later. At that point, I had to contact a lawyer. To make a long, long story short, Dick was finally forced to tell his wife. She chose to stick with him, and the two of them fought me tooth and nail to make sure my child didn’t receive a dime. In their minds, she didn’t exist.
“After incurring thousands and thousands of dollars in legal fees, I’m finally collecting support from this man, but he puts up a fight over everything. Initially, I felt bad for Dick’s wife. I had never had any intentions of disrupting her perfect little life. However, the only concern I have now is for my daughter. Obviously, her father doesn’t.
“To complicate matters more, my daughter was born with a neurological disorder. Fortunately, she’s a pretty typical 2-year-old; however, there are some underlying issues that will always be there.
“Children like my daughter are innocent, despite their parents’ poor judgment, and they don’t deserve to be treated as if they don’t exist. It is not their fault.
“I paid a price for getting involved with this man. He paid no price, as he got away with it 100 percent. However, every day when I look at my happy daughter, I realize how lucky I am.”
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Has an electronic device ever tripped you up? A cell phone, answering machine or computer? Have you ever sent an e-mail to the wrong person? Send your tale, along with your relationship questions and problems, to cheryllavin@aol.com or Cheryl Lavin, Tales From the Front, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Please include day and evening phone numbers. Letters may be used in whole or in part and become the property of the column. Read “Tales From the Front” every Monday, Wednesday and Friday in Tempo.
