Two recent college graduates overhead at the bus stop:
One, a young man, was planning a move to the city. “Did you find a job?” asked his friend.
“Yeah,” he said, adding: “Well, it’s a temporary thing, but it will pay the bills.”
“Hey, whatever works,” replied his friend. “I know a lot of people who’ve had to move back home.”
The conversation sums up the situation of many young adults: Having finished school in the worst recession in decades, college grads are finding what work they can to make ends meet — or moving in with mom and dad.
According to a recent survey from CollegeGrad.com, 80 percent of U.S. college graduates returned home after graduation this year.
Moving in with your folks is a great way to save while you wait for the job market to perk up. But living at home as an adult is different than living there as a child. To make it work, you have to learn some new house rules:
Host a family meeting: Sit down with your parents before or shortly after you move in to discuss ground rules. Your expectations may differ from your parents’ and airing those differences early on can go a long way to keeping the peace.
Remember, this is their house not yours. If they want you to keep your room neat or call home if you won’t be back in time for dinner, respect those wishes.
Also, discuss whether you will be expected to pay rent. The recession is affecting everyone, including your parents. They may be worried about making up losses in their retirement accounts or managing a pay cut at work — and no longer can afford to cover you too.
“The child has just finished school, and usually parents have made some sacrifices [financially] to help that process along,” said Eileen Gallo, who, along with her husband, Jon, wrote “The Financially Intelligent Parent” (New American Library, $8.95).
You’re no longer a child: Even if your parents won’t accept rent, you can contribute. Fill up the gas tank if you borrow the car for the weekend. Mow the lawn. If you’re handy, offer to do maintenance projects. Or pick up the grocery tab once a month.
Make a plan: The point of living at home is to help you get on your feet.
“This is a bridge period,” Jon Gallo said, not an indefinite return. So create a plan — and share your goals with your folks. If you verbalize your goal, you’ll be more motivated to meet it.
And your parents may offer to help. They may pay for you to take vocational tests (which help match your interests to a career) or match a portion of your contributions to your savings.
Match your lifestyle to your income: If you’re jobless, paying rent or other bills may be impossible. But don’t take advantage of your parents’ generosity, particularly if they are giving you an allowance. If you were unemployed and living on your own, you surely would cut back on expenses. Do the same now.
“It can save [your family] a tremendous amount of resentment,” Eileen said.
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E-mail Carolyn Bigda at yourmoney@tribune.com.
