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* Cubans wanted peace to include end of U.S. trade embargo

* Kennedy, Khrushchev excluded Castro from negotiations

* Castro urged Soviet Union to fire nukes if U.S. invaded

By Jeff Franks

HAVANA, Oct 15 (Reuters) – Fifty years ago, in October 1962,

Estela Rivas Vasquez stood watch in a newly dug bunker outside

Havana’s grandiose Hotel Nacional, using binoculars to scan the

Straits of Florida for signs of an American invasion.

She did not fully know why Cuban leader Fidel Castro had put

the country on a war footing, but as a civilian militia member

she was certain of one thing – at the tender age of 18 she was

prepared to die for her country.

“I’ll tell you the truth – I did not feel fear … I had to

defend the country and I didn’t care about dying,” said Rivas, a

petite woman still as feisty as she was then.

U.S. President John F. Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita

Khrushchev eventually negotiated an end to what became known as

the Cuban Missile Crisis, which began on Oct. 16, 1962 when

Kennedy was told the Soviet Union had placed nuclear missiles on

Cuba, barely 90 miles (145 km) off the Florida coast.

On Oct. 28, after 13 tense days with the world on the verge

of nuclear war, Khrushchev agreed to withdraw the missiles in

exchange for Kennedy’s promise that the United States would

never invade the island, with whom U.S. relations had steadily

worsened after Castro took power in a 1959 revolution.

Most of the world was relieved that a potential World War

III had been avoided, but in Cuba the reaction, led by Castro,

was at best ambivalent. Although tempered by time, it remains so

today.

BETRAYED

Cubans shared the world’s relief 50 years ago, but felt

betrayed because Castro had been excluded from the negotiations.

They believed his absence led to a deal that did not include

an end to the U.S. trade embargo against the communist-ruled

island and the return to Cuba of the U.S. naval base at

Guantanamo Bay, both still key issues today.

Young people, including Rivas, took to the streets shouting

chants against Khrushchev.

“We got really angry when Nikita withdrew the rockets,

because they didn’t consult with Fidel. We lost the opportunity

to get Guantanamo back,” Rivas said glumly.

When pressed on how that might have been done, she suggested

that with fear of nuclear war hanging over its head and the

Soviet Union backing Cuba, the U.S. might have changed its

policies.

“If the Americans had said there’s a Soviet base in Cuba,

we’d be able to say there’s an American base, too,” she said.

But Kennedy and Khrushchev were less concerned with

resolving Cuba’s grievances than with ending the crisis as

quickly as possible, said James Blight, a history professor at

the University of Waterloo in Canada, who recently published

“The Armageddon Letters,” a book on the missile crisis.

With the fate of the world in the balance, there was no time

for the dangerous gamesmanship the Cubans wanted to play.

“Khrushchev was so frightened at this point that the world

is going to blow up he couldn’t care less what the Cubans say.

He would deal with that later,” Blight said.

Out in the field, the Soviets had ordered the Cubans not to

fire at low-flying U.S. reconnaissance planes buzzing over the

island, fearing it could provoke an American response.

Huddled in a trench in the mountains west of Havana, militia

member Orlando Iglesias watched in terror day by day as the

planes roared by, barely above the treetops.

“Those were terrible moments, I thought I could die and I

thought of my children, who were very young,” remembered the

mild-mannered Iglesias, now 86.

His fellow Cubans wanted to shoot at the planes, but they

followed the Soviet orders until Oct. 26, when an increasingly

frustrated and desperate Castro, thinking a U.S. invasion was

inevitable, ordered the firing ban lifted.

The next day, an American U-2 spy plane was shot down over

eastern Cuba and Castro wrote a letter to Khrushchev urging him

to unleash a nuclear attack on the United States if it invaded

Cuba.

“That would be the moment to eliminate such danger forever

through an act of clear legitimate defense, however harsh and

terrible the solution would be, for there is no other,” wrote

Castro, who was 35 at the time.

Khrushchev viewed his suggestion as madness.

Blight said it was a reflection of a “streak of martyrdom”

running through Cuban history, which he characterized as “don’t

give in, don’t compromise, don’t say yes, if you can’t get the

whole thing, it’s better to die in the service of your nation,

your people.”

Today, some of the Soviet missiles, freshly painted with a

red hammer-and-sickle, are displayed in a Havana park as a

tourist attraction and Rivas gives tours of the Hotel Nacional,

including the bunkers where she kept watch for American ships.

Castro, now 86 and out of power since 2008, would later in

life become a campaigner against nuclear weapons.

(Reporting by Jeff Franks and Rosa Tania Valdes; Editing by

David Adams and Paul Simao)