What is the Christmas song that’s most annoying to you?
Is it, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?” performed by the husband-and-wife duo of Elmo and Patsy Trigg Shropshire? Or “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon (and Yoko Ono), or “Do They Know It’s Christmas,” by a bunch of “We Are the World”-minded musicians?
Tough call, isn’t it?
My most annoying song is “The Twelve Days of Christmas” by, well, anyone.
I typically fall asleep by “Six geese a layin'” or “Seven swans a swimmin’.” The song’s repetitiveness drives me crazy, sounding like drunken pirates in search of five (expletive) gold rings and the oddest scavenger hunt list in the history of mankind.
Why hasn’t someone written a shorter, tastier version, like the “Three Days of Christmas” ending quickly with “Three pies a cookin'”? Some readers agree.
“It goes on forever,” said Pam Geiselman.
“It takes 12 days to get through it,” added Chris Cieslak.
“And who wants all those birds?” joked Lenore Boreczky.
I was surprised how many readers immediately knew which song annoyed them the most, with no hesitation to also slam its performer. In fact, some Christmas music chestnuts got thrown under the proverbial bus strictly because of who performed them.
“Mariah Carey singing, “All I Want for Christmas,” said Kim Mihalick. “Ugh.”
“I second this,” added Paula Slack. “Ugh!”
Several readers agreed that “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” is the most annoying song. Ever. The seasonal novelty song, written decades ago by John Rox, peaked in 1953. And sounds like it, I say.
“How about, ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside,’ the Christmas date-rape song,” said Jeanne Glad.
Ouch. But it is a creepy song.
“Last Christmas” by Wham! also got several nominations from beleaguered readers.
“I used to like it as a kid, but then as I get older, it seems it gets played at least 20 times in an eight-hour span on the radio,” said Melissa Reiley-Hedger. “Every time it comes on, I quickly turn it off.”
“‘White Christmas’ sounds so melancholy,” said Corrine Hutman.
“Those dogs barking out ‘Jingle Bells’ is like someone scratching a chalkboard with their fingernails,” said Jeff White.
A few people had the audacity to suggest “Frosty the Snowman,” one of my favorite yuletide gems, especially if it’s sung by the late, great Jimmy Durante.
“His voice died before he did,” joked Adam Sanderson.
“Come to think of it, there are lots of Christmas songs that annoy me,” admitted Linda Swisher.
“Yeah, all of them,” added Jonathan Beller. “I worked in a grocery store for seven years.”
OK, enough of such Scrooge-like bashing.
My favorite Christmas songs, in no particular order, are, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen / We Three Kings” by Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” by Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders, and “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth” by David Bowie and Bing Crosby.
You disagree? That’s OK. It could be a follow-up column.
‘Jerry, where are you?’
“Jerry, where have you been? Are you still writing for the Post-Tribune? I sure hope so,” texted Pam Holman, of Lake Station.
“Jerry, I haven’t seen your column in a few days, so I’m wondering if you are still there?” asked Sue Humphry, of LaPorte, in a voice mail.
“Jerry, I am having withdrawal from not reading your columns in the NWI Post Tribune. Please say they will resume,” wrote C. Bauldridge in an email.
Earlier this month, I told my social media readers that I would be on vacation, but I didn’t note it in my newspaper column. I apologize. A couple dozen readers have contacted me with similar messages, wondering when, or if, I would be returning.
Thanks for asking, and it’s good to know how accessible I am to readers – via email, voice mail, cellphone texts and social media. (And yes, I also received a couple of handwritten letters via snail mail.)
Yes, I’m back on the job, with several special columns in the works through the holidays. Each year at Christmastime, I feature heartwarming stories and inspirational people. This holiday season will be no different.
I’ll soon be introducing you to a Northwest Indiana teenager who has collected hundreds of toys for kids stuck in hospitals during the holidays, just as he once was after being diagnosed with a chronic disease.
And I’ll reintroduce many of you to Joe Mays, “Mr. Peanut,” the familiar-faced street vendor who sold peanuts every day on the corner of Grant Street and 25th Avenue in Gary. He did so through rain, snow or oppressive heat until suffering a stroke and the loss of his wife.
I tracked him down, with the help of a longtime customer who felt compelled to tell Mays the same message he once told her when she badly needed to hear it: “Don’t give up.” Mays’ moving story has already touched hundreds of social media readers through a video I posted on Facebook.
“Thank God you found Mr. Mays. We thought he was dead,” said Michael Peters of Crown Point, a former customer.
In the first of a series of columns for 2018, I’ll profile a 17-year-old high school student who’s pregnant and determined to keep her baby, despite the many challenges facing her.
And I’ll help motivate those of you who will be trying to lose weight after the holidays by highlighting the efforts of a 38-year-old woman who has lost 150 pounds over the past 16 months. She has an inspiring message, and tips, to share.
All of these columns will include a video. View them on my webpage at bancodeprofissionais.com/suburbs/chi-jerry-davich-staff.html.
Thanks again for your interest. And for letting me know.
jdavich@post-trib.com
Twitter@jdavich
