Until a couple of days ago, I had absolutely no plans to order any COVID-19 tests, even when hearing the feds are handing them out for free.
The thing is, I’ve had my share of online adventures with those official websites in the last few years, enough to warrant avoidance of as many government links as possible.
Especially ones that, created out of calamity, were put together quickly.
“Just do it!”
That’s what an equally-tech-challenged friend recently demanded of me, followed by the promise that ordering the COVID-19 kits would “take just a minute.”
Still, I did not believe him. After all, don’t government officials go out of their way to make life more complicated for all of us, especially when it comes to this virus that has proven to be more than a capable foe for any expert, politician or techie who tries to take it on?
Nor did I see any urgent need to receive a home test, as I have yet to jab a cotton swab up my nostril, a weird badge of honor, I admit, but then, these are extremely weird times.
And so I chose to ignore his advice until another friend piled on the guilt, using a trite-but-true Boy Scout motto that demands we always be prepared.
Besides, the more I thought about it, the more enticing it became to be able to snag something from the government that doesn’t require pulling out a credit card or checkbook.
Of course where there’s a government program, there’s a scammer lying in wait: Make sure the link you hit does not take you to a phony site that is trying to access your financial information, the Better Business Bureau warns.
I used the link provided on the Kane County Health Department’s website, where there’s a can’t-miss “Order Free At-Home Tests” blue button waiting. If you’ve not already done so, please click on it. Short of Amazon, it’s the easiest online transaction you will ever do.
Name. Address. Email optional. Hit “Check Out Now.”
So simple I couldn’t help but review my steps to make sure I got it right.
How long a wait before the package comes could be another story. The website states the tests should arrive via the United States Postal Service within seven to 12 days. No doubt if Amazon would have been handling delivery, it would be on my doorstep by noon the next day, which is really ideal considering the purpose of this government initiative is to fight back against a surge that experts tell us is waning.
The question that hangs over any testing is how accurate the home version is. I’m sure, like me, you’ve heard stories from family, friends and perfect strangers about crazy discrepancies in results. For example, a granddaughter – showing no symptoms – tested positive on a spit test at school only to get a negative reading that same day from a home kit. And I know a teacher who got hit hard by COVID-19 and the home test was the only one of multiple testes she took that came back positive.
According to experts, the tests are less sensitive than PCR tests because if you take one during the earliest phase of an infection, before the virus has replicated widely, you could get a false negative. However, they are effective when identifying high viral loads and when a person is most likely to transmit the virus to others.
Michael Isaacson, assistant director of community health for the Kane County Health Department, suggests using them if you believe you have been exposed, if you want to know if that scratchy throat and nasal drip is COVID-19 or a cold or if you want a little more assurance before visiting Grandma.
Also, health officials say, people who have had a known exposure should wait three to five days before taking the at-home test because testing too soon before the virus has had a chance to replicate increases the odds of a false negative.
All of which means these tests have their limitations.
In fact, “no test is perfect,” cautions Isaacson, noting that results depend on the amount of virus a swab collects and that viral loads and shedding can change day to day.
“If you want to visit Grandma and find out you are positive, you know you should not go,” said Isaacson, quickly adding that if results show negative, “you still don’t know for sure” you don’t have COVID-19.
“There are a lot of variables,” he said, which is why the home test is “no guarantee … only another tool … giving us the opportunity to more quickly isolate.”
Because you can never be sure when the virus has breached your immune system, health experts agree that if you test negative after a known or suspected exposure or develop symptoms, it’s best to take a second test a day or two later.
One criticism of the government’s free offer is that the four tests per household, while OK for a single occupant or couple, does not do a lot of good for larger families. All the more reason I am glad I have persistent friends.
While my small household might never use a home test – knock on wood with hands folded in prayer – after watching my crew go through more COVID-19 tests in a week than Snickers bars at Halloween, these government freebies will likely not get wasted.
And if they are, well, that’s not so bad either.
From what “we are seeing in other places, we can expect a downward turn” in COVID-19 numbers, said Isaacson. “I am very hopeful.”
dcrosby@tribpub.com
