Grumpy and I are definitely what you would call city slickers. His idea of the great outdoors is sitting on the deck watching a TV through the window while my idea of camping is staying in a hotel with four stars instead of five.
But sometimes you just have to get out of your comfort zone, which is why this summer we enjoyed a trip to one of the best outdoor locations in the country, Alaska.
I know a lot of people from Naperville who have done this same trip this year, so it definitely seemed the place to be now that we can vacation with less restrictions.
“The most important thing is the wildlife,” I said to Grumpy, armed with all the knowledge you can get from Wikipedia. “We’ll be able to get up close and personal with bears, see salmon leap, watch all those magnificent breaching orcas, it’ll be amazing. The scenery is brilliant. We can see a real glacier and icebergs!”
“You know we’re planning a cruise, right?” said Grumpy. “Not sure ships and icebergs have a good track record.”
“It’s summer so they’ll probably only be little ones,” I said, with no idea if that were actually true. “Anyhow, look at this excursion. We can go sledding with dogs!”
“Why would you want to do that?” said Grumpy. “We have a dog here and you never take her sledding.”
“Not down Rotary Hill. We can visit a real mushers camp and get pulled along,” I replied. “Obviously not on actual sleds as it’s summer and dangerous, but on a kind of trolley.”
“This is sounding less exciting by the minute,” said Grumpy, looking over my shoulder at my computer screen. “So you’re basically being pulled along in a six-seater golf cart? Let’s face it, you’re not really much of a thrill seeker, are you?”
After so many years living in the Midwest, I was far more excited to see real mountains than I probably should have been. But seeing the wildlife on our trip proved a little trickier and after a few days, I was frankly disappointed with what I’d been able to jot down in my notebook.
Day 1:
Six teeny spouts, which may have come from whales, about 28 feet away on the starboard side. (Note: check how to tell difference between port and starboard.)
A white bird with a beak. (Note: Look that up later.)
Day 2:
Unconfirmed sighting of the Loch Ness monster.
Unidentified jetsam without flotsam.
Day 3:
Bob Ross painting some happy little trees on a distant island in Tracy Arm Fjord.
A mermaid. (Possibly)
Day 4:
Two bears (on a souvenir T shirt in Ketchikan).
A wild salmon (OK, a slice on a plate in the ship’s dining room).
A moose (head sticking out of a wall in the Red Dog Saloon but who’s not to say the rest of it wasn’t right behind).
Unlike the four seasons we enjoy here in the Midwest, Alaska only has two. Snow and rain. It rained at every stop but, being British, we were well prepared.
“Are you serious?” Grumpy said. “We’re about to go on a hike through the mountains and you’re carrying that?”
“I’ll have you know this little umbrella has been everywhere with me,” I said, unfurling my rickety pink telescopic brolly decorated with gold stars. “Anyway, I wouldn’t exactly call this a hike.”
We had just taken the cable car to a small peak in Icy Straight Point and were preparing to walk back down. I admit I may have led readers of my Facebook page to believe we were finally being really adventurous by hiking, it wasn’t strictly true. It was more like a stroll around a park on a typical summer’s day in England, but without the tea rooms.
For me, though, the going was treacherous. The steepest incline I normally navigate is the berm halfway down my street. Not only that but the rain had made the ground really muddy. Thank goodness I’d decided to wear my sneakers and not the open toes sandals I was originally contemplating.
“Help, I’m stuck!” I called to Grumpy as I became a tree hugger for the first time in my life. “It’s all slippery.”
Rolling his eyes he held out a steadying hand so I could take the terrifying 6-inch leap back to terra firma.
As much as we appreciated the beauty of Alaska, we were disappointed not to see more animals in the wild. So you can imagine our surprise when we finally did see something on our final stop in the charming city of Victoria in Canada.
As city slickers, we lost no time on hopping on a pedicab for a tour. So much history, so many beautiful buildings, it was perfect. Then we saw it. As we were trotting along the street, we spotted a beautiful deer. Turns out they usually stay in a nearby park but this one had ventured out for a stroll past some dumpsters.
“So majestic,” I said, trying to focus my phone as we passed by.
“Are you kidding?” said Grumpy. “After all that your big wildlife photo is going to be of a deer in front of a dumpster? What are you going to do, Photoshop the background?”
“I’ll take what I can get,” I replied. “Maybe it’s not just people like us who are drawn to the city. Animals appreciate it too.”
Hilary Decent is a freelance journalist who moved from England to Naperville in 2007.
