Good morning, Mike Smith.
The Blackhawks’ new general manager-like life form has a doctorate in Russian studies, previously developed working relationships with Sokol Kiev and Moscow Dynamo and always drafted a slew of Soviet players, including Alex Zhamnov.
OK, everybody sing: “Here come the Hawks, the mighty Borschthawks.”
– You watch, we’ll soon read without surprise that the Hawks’ organ-I-zation tried to hire Smith a couple of years ago but couldn’t agree on money.
– Quick, someone tell the new guy in charge of the talent-challenged Hawks that speedy, skillful Edmonton forwards Doug Weight and Bill Guerin can be had.
– Hall of Fame ballots started showing up last week and it looks as if Carlton Fisk is the closest thing to a gimme. Others who ought to make it in a year without no-brainers: Gary Carter, Bruce Sutter, Goose Gossage and Jack Morris. Oh, yeah. And Ron Santo.
– The same week the Cubs offer arbitration to a guy who lost 18 games, they trade for a guy who lost 14. Such Cubness.
– Joe Girardi is a good guy, but he’s Scott Servais with World Series jewelry.
– Bay Area scientists say they found six more planets outside our solar system. They are 65 light-years away, same as the Cubs’ World Series chances.
– Twenty bucks on the Colts to win the Super Bowl got you 100-1 odds from Las Vegas oddsmakers last summer. If you’d also done that with the Rams, you’d have got 200-1. Sunday morning the Rams were 5-2, the Colts 7-2.
– E-mailer Rick Oschmann, to Bears defensive coordinator Greg Blache: “The `defensive’ part of your title refers to you coming up with schemes to stop the other guy. It doesn’t mean reacting poorly to comments and questions about bad play.”
– Chiefs coach Gunther Cunningham, when asked whether running back Bam Morris had passed muster in his attempt to keep his weight down: “No, he hasn’t passed mustard yet.”
– The Islanders are rationing sticks, the Toronto Sun reported. If you break more than your quota, you have to buy the replacements yourself. One player also whispers that at a recent pregame meal, there were 20 pieces of chicken for 23 players. “And Gino Odjick ate eight of them.”
– Quentin Richardson’s move to shooting guard was supposed to help him with NBA scouts. Looks like it has exposed him.
– Pat Doyle of the Winnipeg Sun, on the U.S. Army and U.S. Navy withdrawing advertising sponsorship of the World Wrestling Federation: “That’s right. The very people who brought you the Vietnam and Gulf wars and the Christmas bombing of Iraq are convinced there’s too much fake violence on TV.”
– The Supreme Court might strike down the Miranda rights decision, and I’m thinking, either way, “You have the right to remain silent” will remain Florida State’s motto.
– The end: Jeff Newman, the editor at Simon & Schuster who oversaw Charles Barkley’s autobiography in which Barkley claimed he was misquoted: “I guess you could say he pioneered the genre of the unauthorized autobiography.”
