Just mentioning the word can make people cringe. Because “networking” has connotations of pressing people for favors or leapfrogging from contact to contact to get what you want, many businesspeople today tend to distance themselves from the concept. But building good relationships is an essential part of cultivating your career. So I asked a selection of women to tell me their approach to expanding their professional circles–or networking in a good way.
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“Networking is becoming more of a matter of personal style. It doesn’t mean to introduce yourself to as many people as possible, bouncing around like a pinball machine getting [business] cards. People strive for a wide circle of contacts, but instead of having 100 cards and I can’t put a face to each one, I’d rather have three that I could call up and that you have enough of a relationship and a mutual exchange that they are truly useful on a personal or professional level.
“And most importantly, it [networking] means to give back. If a person does you a favor, no matter how small, show concrete appreciation, like writing a thank-you note. Stopping by someone’s office with cookies isn’t the hokey-est thing in the world if someone’s done you a favor.”
–Anne Marie Mulvihill, consultant, Blue Sky Executive Search
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“To just trade cards is really ridiculous. Instead, be yourself and build a relationship, not contacts. [When approaching new people] let your inner voice help you feel confident and not underrate yourself. It’s easy to think, `That person is so important, they’d never want to talk to me.’ But if you let yourself think that, you’ll lose an opportunity. You have a lot to offer and if they don’t want to talk or are unfriendly, that’s their problem, not yours. And, by the same token, always be courteous if someone wants to talk to you.”
–Cary Broussard, vice president of the Women on Their Way program, Wyndham Hotels & Resorts
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“It sounds so simple but often gets overlooked: A lot of people present themselves without a smile. If you smile, what people first see is a friendly face, someone they’d be interested to know. It’s the first thing that will open a door. It’s also important to establish common ground by asking other people about their needs. People are most interested in themselves and like to talk about themselves.”
–Debbie Gross, regional operations manager, General Motors Parts
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“Be active and visible in your industry and don’t necessarily limit yourself to the discipline in which you work. Why pigeonhole yourself? For example, when I was a lawyer and had telecom clients, I attended telecom regulatory meetings. It’s a broad way of networking, it’s impressive to other people and it helps you move forward.
“Also, a lot of women feel more comfortable networking with other women but you shouldn’t limit yourself to that; men appreciate it too. And you should always be helping others as you go.”
–Carrie Hightman, president of SBC Ameritech Illinois
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“Networking did have a major role [in opening the restaurant]. You need to market yourself and market the restaurant. I’m a very sociable person. I talk to everybody and I find out about them, what they do for a living. Ask friends for introductions or talk to the person sitting next to you, engage in one-on-one conversations. You just need to be out there, talking to people, getting to know them.”
–Lanny Nguyen, owner of L’anne restaurant in Wheaton
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“The biggest thing I do–and I learned this from another woman–is that when I go to an event I listen to what the other person is saying and what they need in terms of referrals and see if I can fill their needs. It might not be selling a fur coat; it might be the best masseuse. I ask what kind of business they have and ask about their customers. I get to know the person and they get to know me. It usually comes back for me. [I try] being a friend and being supportive when networking. Then [referrals for coats] just come naturally.”
–Susie Bryant, owner of Hinsdale Furriers
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“Always wear your name badge on your right-hand label [if you are right-handed] because when you lean forward to shake hands, your body shifts to the right and your name will be right in front of them.”
–Carol Kuc, founder, president, CEO and occasional window washer, Complete Conference Coordinators Inc. in Naperville
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“When you are the only person you know in a room, take the attention off your discomfort by taking the initiative. Simply decide which individual or small group you want to approach and walk toward them. Enter the conversation by saying, `Hello, my name is Gloria Petersen, may I join you?’ They are not going to say no. Then introduce yourself to each person in the group with a handshake and good eye contact.
“Instead of worrying about what you are going to talk about, ask a question after you have made your introduction. Focus on listening to the conversation, learning something new and discovering a commonality. Another way to help overcome nervousness is by helping others make introductions, bringing people together once you’ve discovered that they have something in common. You will be amazed at how grateful they will be that you took this initiative and how comfortable you have become.”
–Gloria Petersen, president, Global Protocol Inc.
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“Don’t think of it as a chore or as wearing your networking hat. Networking is more about opening yourself to meeting someone new and talking to new people. In every circle of my life, I want contacts and a comfort level; over time those circles overlap. I can go anywhere and I know somebody. On a plane from New York back to Chicago, I sat next to Marilyn Miglin. She had been returning phone calls and there was no reason to talk, but I said to her, `You sound like you’ve had a really busy day. Why were you in New York?’ We had a great conversation; we talked all the way to Chicago.”
–Diane DeVilbiss, financial services professional
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E-mail: jfitzgerald@tribune.com
