Hi Carolyn,
I hope you can help. My sister is pregnant and demanding things of people, just not me yet. Example–mom can never smoke around the baby or even smoke outside while it’s sleeping. Fine, I understand it’s her kid and she calls the shots, but if you don’t do what she says, then you will never see the kid.
Flash back to her wedding a few years ago–I threw her a bridal shower and gave her very nice gifts for the shower and wedding. Very minimal appreciation. The baby shower is soon.
And when the baby comes, what is the proper etiquette of visiting my sister in the hospital? (Can this etiquette be swayed because of past offenses?)
Also, next time she shows no appreciation or acts bitchy, any smart remarks to get my point across? Thanks!
Washington, D.C.
Dear Washington,
Ugh, I thought we established this isn’t a smart-remarks drive-thru. SAY what you have to SAY, OK? “You make a lot of demands of me, and it hurts me when you show little or no gratitude for what I do.”
As for her demands of people who aren’t you, they really aren’t your problem. Especially when your sister is absolutely right–NO ONE should smoke around babies. AAAGH. Not even around children. (Not even around adults, but adults have more room-leaving options.) If it bugs you that she pushes your mom around in general, you can always say, “Hey, lay off mom, she’s trying.”
As for when you visit momma and baby, go when you want to and can. If you’ve got a problem with her, either address it or start accepting that she’s your sister and you just have to deal with her on terms you can stand.
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