Even more ridiculous than the offering of a 2-foot Italian beef sandwich at Wrigley Field is the way it’s delivered: in a little cardboard briefcase complete with handles.
Of course, there’s no better way to tote 24 inches of bun stuffed with 15 ounces of shredded beef nestled under sweet peppers and minced giardiniera, which fans carry overhead through the Cubs crowd like a totem worthy of reverence and Rolaids.
This Frankensandwich was recently created at the innovation kitchens (love that term) of Levy Restaurants, which supplies the grub at local ballparks. “We’re always trying to come up with ways to make fans say ‘Wow,'” explained Levy’s Brett Bils, who since offering the beef this season is also making fans say, “I probably shouldn’t have eaten that whole thing.”
During the recent Cubs homestand with the Mets, Bils served me the monstrosity. I quickly learned that you have to buttress the beef in its center, lest it collapse upon itself while you’re biting. And it’s best to hold it to the side, like an au jus-dripping flute.
I was gorging at an outdoor picnic table in the shadow of the Harry Caray statue, where fans were waiting to enter the ballpark. Upon spotting me, one girl nudged her friend, pointed my way and giggled, confirming my suspicion that you can’t look cool eating a 2-foot sandwich.
While I’d planned to gobble the whole thing, I made it through two-thirds of my beef before stomach overruled will. So I packed up the remaining 8 inches in the cardboard briefcase and hailed a cab — a greasy-mawed businessman taking his work home with him.
The 2-foot beef, selling for $18, is available only at Wrigley Field’s Italian Hot Spot booth in the left-field concourse. Fans of 2-foot-long foods and public emasculation should note that U.S. Cellular Field offers a 24-inch wiener.
