A recent series of Tuesday evening classes at Valparaiso’s Central Elementary School wasn’t meant for kids, although they were a big reason for it.
Rather, the six-week session provided free dinner and child care to any local parents who wanted to learn more about parenting — specifically the Love & Logic approach to parenting.
Sponsored by Our Greater Good, a local non-profit organization headed by Garner Tullis, the Love & Logic sessions have already been taught with rave reviews at Valparaiso’s Parkview Elementary and the Valparaiso YMCA. Tullis said Love & Logic gives people with differing parenting styles a neutral platform from which to stay connected to their children while teaching them to take responsibility for their own messes.
“I found Love & Logic eleven years ago at a conference,” Tullis said, “but have no association with them other than their parenting tools (having) changed our marriage and home. Since then I have become a facilitator to get this to as many parents as I can.”
According to its website, “the Love & Logic approach is the original world leader in changing the lives of parents, teachers and kids through practical, effective and fun techniques.” In business for three decades, the parenting classes are now taught worldwide.
“Love & Logic is a loving, balanced approach that is neither permissive nor punitive,” Garner added. “We focus on helping children develop personal responsibility, self-control and good decision making skills, nurturing long-term relationships, and reinforcing good character.”
Tullis said the Love & Logic series is just one part of his organization’s three-pronged approach of helping the city’s schools. Our Greater Good also helps with mentoring and reading at Parkview, Central, Flint Lake, and Northview elementary schools, as well as Thomas Jefferson Middle School. The organization hopes to serve all eight Valparaiso elementary schools in the future.
Assisting Tullis with the Love & Logic teaching is Erin Evans of Valparaiso, a planner at Ingalls Memorial Hospital and the mother of three boys, ages 4, 5, and 8, who she says were the impetus for wanting to share the techniques.
“My kids are very strong-willed, high-energy children, and I found that traditional discipline methods just didn’t work. My oldest son was routinely outsmarting me before he was 18-months old. Once I learned Love & Logic, I started having so much fun with my boys – we went from Terrible Two’s to Terrific Two’s – and I knew that if these principles worked for me, they would work for other families, too.”
Evans and Garner began teaching the series together in 2011 at the YMCA. She has also taught classes with Susie Hord at Immanuel Lutheran Church.
“We have a lot of pressures today that didn’t exist 20-30 years ago,” Evans continued, “and it seems like the stakes get higher at a younger age for kids these days. Once I saw how beautifully these tools can work for a modern-day family, I decided to help other families learn the same information.”
Each night of the six-week session begins with a family-style dinner, then the children go to a separate area for child care while the parents work their way through 60 to 90 minutes of curriculum, broken up into videos, readings, and discussion.
Evans said some of the core principles include setting limits without starting power struggles, sharing control through choices, taking good care of yourself so you can then take good care of your kids, letting natural consequences paired with empathy (instead of anger) do the teaching, letting kids practice making decisions (and sometimes mistakes) when the price tags are small, and practical ways to deal with backtalk, sibling rivalry, and chores.
“I have used this in my home for seven years with three young boys,” she said, “and the successes are almost too many to count!”
Garner’s and Evan’s next Love & Logic class is set to begin April 11 at Northview Elementary School. The six consecutive Monday classes will run from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. There is a $10 deposit for the workbook required, but if all six sessions are attended, that money is refunded. Scholarships are also available.
Donna Rowland is a freelance reporter for the Post-Tribune.
