Tom Browne became a fan of books on tape when he was helping his father move to a retirement building in the Chicago area. Browne lives in St. Paul, a half a mile from Interstate 94. His father, who owned a house in north suburban Winnetka, was moving to a retirement building in Wilmette, also just a half a mile off I-94.
So Browne would visit the library to stock up on tapes. “It made the time go faster,” said Browne.
Lots of adult children are their primary caregivers for elderly parents but don’t live near them. That makes dealing with day-to-day tasks, such as arranging for caretakers and medical appointments even more difficult.The hardest part of moving Browne’s father was cleaning out the old house, a process that took multiple trips to Winnetka. Browne filled four big dumpsters and held a big sale at the house.
Researching and finding reliable help from a distance can be daunting. But resources are available for adult children to help their faraway parents. Local social-service agencies can provide help or referrals to groups that help seniors.
Another option is to hire a geriatric care manager. These trained professionals coordinate services and all aspects of care for an elderly parent. Signe Gleeson, who runs Naperville-based ElderCare Solutions, works with adult children who live outside the Chicago area as well as nearby.
The biggest challenge, especially when adult children are thinking about moving a parent, is getting an accurate picture of how the older adult is managing, Gleeson said. Phone calls, in particular, can be very deceptive. An older person may sound fine when things are falling apart.
Long-distance caregivers are finding help on the Internet, too. Paul Garcy uses Angie’s List, a membership Web site that catalogs local services such as roofers and plumbers, to find help for his parents who live in Reading, Pa.
Angie’s List, which has 44,000 members in the Chicago area, recently introduced “add-a-city.” For $20, a member can get access to the list of services in another location. “We kept hearing stories from members who were trying to care for elderly parents in other cities,” said Angie Hicks, founder of Angie’s List, based in Indianapolis.
About three weeks ago, Angie’s List also added elder services as a category. Another resource is ShirleyBoard.com. Californian Mark Willaman launched the site as a way to keep track of everything related to the care of his mom, who has Alzheimer’s disease and lives in New Jersey.
Willaman makes regular postings to the site on his conversations with his mom and directions about her care. His goal is to keep her at home where she is happy. Professionals who are involved in her care, along with Willaman’s sisters, can log on to the site and view the updates. Designated users can also post remarks.
The site also has a networking feature. Someone in Chicago with a parent in New York, for example, can connect with an adult child in New York who can provide advice on assisted living facilities and other local service providers. ShirleyBoard is free to users and anyone can create an account. Willaman plans to keep the site non-commercial, a tribute, of sorts, to his mom. He says: “It’s become a record of the journey.”
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Jane Adler is a Chicago-area freelance writer. Write to her at Senior Housing, c/o Chicago Tribune Real Estate, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Or e-mail realestate@ tribune.com. Sorry, she cannot make personal replies. Answers will be supplied only through the newspaper.
